reincarnation, real or fiction

I couldn't sleep tonight, I guess my mind was just too full of thoughts to go to sleep. I have questions about the after-life. I don't know how I feel about reincarnation, the possibility of it bothers the heck out of me. What if I was a man in my last life, was I gay because I really love being a woman. I like being me, I don't want to be someone else. I don't want to even think of being blonde or taller or shorter ( well maybe taller). Okay taller with great legs but the rest of me just as I am. I would want to keep all of my flaws, well maybe I would want straight hair rather than curly. Well I love being Italian, I wouldn't want to change that. And I want to keep my husband and my family!!! That is a must!!!

I understand, from what I have read, when we are reincarnated we get to chose who we will be and what we will experience in order to learn and grow. Well I want the fairy tale. I think I have learned quite a bit in this life so I think I would like to come back rich and happy and healthy and give to the poor and just have the greatest life. Who wants to join me? I'll but a yacht and invite you all. I'll wait for you or you can wait for me in the after-life and we can all come back together and have a great time.

I grew up believing that we get one shot at life. The concept of having other lives is disturbing. Deja vu is suppose to be the memory of a past life experience. We have all had that happen. I wonder if I am just trying to convince myself so I won't be traumatized in the after-life. I would hate to get to the pearly gates and have St. Peter tell me "don't unpack, you're going back". Bummer!!!!!!!